A study published in Psychology and Aging shows that couples that use words such as ‘we’, ‘us’ and ‘our’ are better at resolving marital fights. The University of California, Berkeley, found that words such as “I” and “you” were signs of marital dissatisfaction.
Plural terms, such as “we”, are “part of this invisible language that can tell scientists what’s going on inside a marriage,” he said.
“Our thinking is that, using the ‘we’ words in that context can maybe help realign the couple, and help them to see themselves as being on the same team as opposed to adversaries,” a graduate student working on the project, Benjamin Seider, told LiveScience.
The study’s data was collected between 1989 and 1990, when researchers videotaped 154 couples during a 15-minute discussion regarding conflict in their relationship. Physiological state, including body temperature and heart rate were also monitored.
I don’t know about you but I want to watch MY favorite show on TV rather than HIS Cricket! Too selfish?
Do words really make a difference to resolveing the fights and the overall state of your marital bliss?
When researching some tips on how to fight fair I found an article that said….
“If done correctly, conflict and healthy, fair fighting, can strengthen your marriage”
The article had some really good points such as, Fighting fair means you don’t bring up past history.
What tips to do you have for fighting fair and resolving marital fights?